Blog 012 "Elbow myths"

FUN FACT: "Armadillo"

Well, I have some 'news' I have a new movie in my top ten and a new movie in my bottom ten. Which you want first? I'm gonna go ahead and go with my new #9 0n the TOP ten. The film is foreign, and has subtitles, its about and insanley beautiful girl with hair dyed red, scenes of it are animated, can you guess? "Run Lola Run" is the english translation of the title. Its just a creative movie thats drenched in originality and brilliance. Like a Tarrentino if switched off from harsh realism and bitter truths and then fantasy situations, unlike a Tarrentino, this film takes place in a universe where love exsists and not everyone gets shot. "Run Lola Run" also includes amazing camera work, fantastic animation sequences, and lastly a fitting upbeat soundtrack as strange of film. After seeing Run Lola Run I was in a movie mood and decided to head to the theatre with a friend and catch TROPIC THUNDER, the worst movie of 2008. Tropic Thunder is everything evil in the world. Every joke wasnt funny because it was taken either too long, too far, or wasnt even far enough in the first place. It made fun of homosexuality, had a zillion poop jokes that where weven more repiticious and annoying than something you'd find on Nickelodian (or however you spell that), it was racially insensitive, its gore sequences where just awful. I hated this film and left the theatre an hour early, if Robert Downey Jr. wasnt in the film I would have lasted 3 minutes into the film. If I ever see Stiller on the street I am going to kick him down and steal his wallet. School starts in a week. kill me  

BLOG 011 "THE TAG ROOM"

FUN FACT: "Did you know that R.L. Stine is an awful author of terrible half-assed books?"

Today you are going to hear the legend of the tag room, as you may recall in Blog 003 I made a refrence to them with the promise, "A story for another day". well today is that day. Like some terrible J.E. Abrams show on ABC its my duty to drop some mystery in third episode of my blog and then let you pick up clues until finally in the eleventh episode the story is told in a series of wavy flashbacks. You basically know everything, movie on fridays, 7 always, 4 sometimes...well...thats really it, no twists, no turns....disapointed? yeah me too. We seperated over the summer because 90% of us went on 3 month vacations, one lost there mind and quit talking to me because of a insanley obsessive AIM realationship with somone in California, But I expect when the school year starts back up I'll be back to hanging with my legion of very awsome outcasts.

Long blogs soon

Blog 010 "Ebay is my role model"

FUN FACT: "Quality home-decks only come from the Alfred Deck Company."

Today I opened an Ebay acount to sell some old stuff to get some new toys, like a Xbox and then I'm also saving up for rehab of an future addiction to the x-box. I'm only telling you this because honestly I've run out of things to tell you...I guess we'll get to long blogs when things get excited, spicy, dramatic, or maybe even dynamic. I'll think of something to talk about one of these days...

Blog 009 "Johnny, don't eat the moon."

DISCLAIMER: I have a lot of crazy opinions and you can't get offended if I insult you...I hate very few people, I often times just hate there ways.

Blog 008 "Lance Armstrong: saving the world from cancer one shotgun at a time"

FUN FACT: "There has been only one black serial killer in the history of man!"

hey hey, guess what? my necks all better! it suddenly went away after a long bike-ride and sitting awkwardly on a odd shaped chair. Tonight I played more video games than I think I ever have, thanks to me the virtual world has over 2000 new zombie, cop, and terrorist soldier corpses scattered throughout the blood-ridden and bullet riddled CGI streets. That awful smell is in the air again, black cultural steryotyping, religious upevil with social dominance, an inacceptence of anything not steryotypical to the high class of texas, yep looks like I'm headed back to Highland Park High School. the school with the slogan "Work Sets You Free." HPHS is as corrupt as the united states goverment and at the same time is as coo-coo as some third world country with some nonsensical agenda. Its a tiny example of what the world would be like if we let people with money and good looks rule the world. Our best film maker can't make films, his dad just buys him good cameras, the local band that everyone loves is just three blonde jonas brothers....I hate it there so much...I can here them saying all of it....the white kids saying the N word over and over, me asking them to stop and having them treat me like some idiot for that, our schools elected student officials cheating on tests and getting drunk every friday, a golden cross blazing on all of there chests with no true understanding of the ethics of there own religion but a harsh back-handed responce to anyone who would dare challenge there spiritual word....My gay friends crying in the cafetira beacause they where verbally abused by the tall, dark, and handsome football boys who couldn't give a rats ass for human decency if they where on there death bed...My school is a farm, a farm for corrupt vampire lawyers, cheating hypocrital congress men, models, talentless celebritys and cosmetic surgeons...it is hell...

save me

Blog 007 "Become Wrath David"

FUN FACT: "Did you know that Hippos are the animal responsible for the most human deaths?...For Real!"

REST IN PEACE BERNIE MAC, A actually friendly celebrity

After I saw my third favorite movie, "Se7en", not only did Brad Pitt earn my respect, but I was able to memorize the seven deadly sins by thinking of the victims in the film (If you havn't seen the film you will still understand the rest of the blog.) Now, without further adieu

THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS OF FILM-MAKING

1. Gluttony 

Primary example: Star Wars, Cacoon II, Jaws.

Gluttony in film-making is the act of making to many sequels that are all terrible and are all high budget.  Ussualy the commiters of this sin are big film-company owners who just decide they want to make another billion-making sequel, and if the original cast, original writer, or the original director they will just replace them. Rarley does replacing everyone work (A rare examples are 28 weeks later, and Aliens which where great) But unplanned sequels are always really dumb, first off in action or sci-fi movies you have to ressurect the antagonist from the dead or just find a new bad guy. In romantic comedy unplanned sequels you will often find that now instead of the lead guy and gal falling in love now they've moved in together and they have to "Stay" in Love. I have nothing against sequels if they're planned. People who make a movie and leave everything open enough so that they may make enough money. Unplanned sequels as I already said are messy and never capture the creativity of the original.

2. Sloth

Primary Example: Spider Man, Speed Racer

The idiocy of a film with lazy mistakes. Film-wise this may in fact be the worst sin. These films where ussualy made because somone wants to make a three hour film with "Really cool" CGI. Films like these have scripts written in less time then the films length, they ussualy have big actors being paid huge sums of money to make a film where none of there actual talent is needed, lastly they throw in some huge director who probobly never even shows up on set. These films make billions in the box office and are praised as classics by the dumb public. No creativity is used, no talent, just green screen, lots and lots of green screen.

3. Pride 

Primary Example: M. Night, Russel Crowe

Films really can't have Pride, but the people who make them sure can. You'll find pride when a film comes out that sucks and the director tries to defend it with worthless defense. then it also comes with actors with too much (well, Guess) to apear in low-budget films or work with directors.

4. WRATH

Primary Example: Happy Feet

Films with this often times have a moral or political objective not at all hidden in there film. This sin can easily be seen when you compare the film "Wall-E" to the film "Happy Feet". Both movies are cute kids movies, both CGI and both have the same moral. Only difference is that Happy Feet tied you down and gave you chinese moral torture, it went on an excesive hour where it tried to make every kid in the audience cry with bordeom and make every single adult in the audience feel guilty. Wall-E had the exact same moral but it was just kind of there, wasnt shoved down your throat.

5. Lust

Primary Example: Don't Look Now

Lust is simple. Transformers, one of the 10 worst films ever made, the only reason teen boys I know liked it was for a simple reason "It had a hot girl in it". See this movie because Kristin Dunst' ass can be seen for one frame, see that movie because it has nippers in it, When I go to a movie I'm not looking for porn...I like to watch films with my father, sometimes with my younger cousins and I don't enjoy having to press scene skip. 

6. Envy

Primary Example: Countless number of films

Envy isn't frequent in big-budget movies, you ussualy find a Envy film hidden at the back of blockbuster. These are rip-off films, I once found a movie called "Alien Versus Hunter" a film about two alien breeds fighting, both looked like "Alien Versus Predator" except in this case its just low budget and made with actors who can't even show emotions in real life

7.GREED

Primary Example: I am Legend

Primarily Films that have too big of a budget and that in term ruins the film. In a low budget movies the special effetcs which are comprised of kitchen supplies often look 100 times more realisitic then the best CGI. Unknown actors who don't look like models but who can show true emotion can do better than actors who are super-sexy and are over-paid. Imagine my fourth favorite movie 28 Days later, the same script, except now replace Cillian Murphy with Will Smith, Replace Saleena with Britney Spears, add in some cheesy jokes, and then make every single zombie CGI...I have so much fury at the film "I am Legend". Will Smith can act as a action hero and a dynamite emotional actor, but was in comedy mode he we made this. Stuffed with uncreative sets, 10 minutes of shrek, some untimley jokes and lastly the super-fake zombies that looked so so so so so so so fake and you've ruined what coulda been a good film

did I make any sence just then....my neck is still killing me 

Blog 006 "Ouch times seven"

FUN FACT: "OOOOOOUUUUCHHHHCHCHCCHCHCH"

Fans of my blog, or at least frequent readers, will recall that yesterday I went to sleep on a cheap cheap cheap couch that was way to small to fit me (reason #6 I hate traveling) and then went to graduation where I just sat down for two hours, then went to a long lunch where I just sat down for 1 and a half hours and then lastly went got into the car and hey hey I just sat for two and half hours. Well this list of sitting turns out to be the very same ingridients to the magic potion known as "Make your neck hurt like hell". I am okay with stomache aches, head aches, being sick, feet falling asleep, burns, cuts, but nothing in this entire world will ever be able to trump the extreme pain of a neck or back being sore, injured or harmed. I am bed ridden. I can move my arms, very painfully I can sit up or sit down and walking is a bitch, My head is at a constant 90 degree angle to the right and I have nothing I can really do. This is unbearable and if it where perniment I think its the worst pain in exsistance. and I am not exagirating (but I am exagerating on how to spell the word) If I had the choice of having this neck pain or loosing both my legs I think I'd go for the legs. I'm immoble right now, I'm completly usless. If my grammar seems worse than usual its because it is. I am under lots of stress right now, having to deal with lots of immature teenagers or as I call them "Puberty Sacs". Then school begins in 2 weeks...I hate school...so so much

My last few blogs sure are short